Secrets for a Successful Marriage: Why You Should Date Your Spouse

Marriage can be hard, but the love and friendship it brings with it is worth it. 

Cultivating a successful marriage takes hard work, dedication, and devotion. 

There are certain relationships in our lives that take more responsibility and more effort to maintain, but these relationships are also the most fulfilling and important ones we can have. The relationship we have with our spouse is the product of how we view and treat each other. Letting life get in the way of that can sometimes make that relationship weaker and less enjoyable. It’s important to find ways to prioritize the people that mean the most to us, which is why I am dating my wife!

“Of course you’re dating her, you’re married,” Yes, but that’s not really what I mean. Do you remember that time in your relationship, still early on, where you could look forward to that next date because it was another chance to be with the person you love? It didn’t really matter what you did as long as you got to do it together. The longer you’re with someone, the more comfortable you get and the more life starts to settle in more. I want to cultivate and strengthen the relationship between my wife and me and one of the ways I’m doing that is by dating more and giving us more opportunities to connect with each other like we did before married life with kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love my married life and my kids, but I think it’s important to keep our relationship happy, healthy, and fun, too. 

I work hard in every part of my life, and my marriage is no exception. I decided to set a goal of 40 dates a year, that way I know whether or not I’m keeping up with my relationship. We don’t always do the same things over and over, but it’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about the intention of what you’re doing. This is a way to not only schedule some fun and relaxing time into your routine, but it’s also an easy way to maintain a healthy marriage. It gives you an opportunity to prioritize your partner and show them that you are still committed and that you are willing to put them first on your list. I wanted to take this chance to share with you some of the other ways that dating your spouse can help to improve your relationship so that you can foster happier and longer marriages and relationships in your life, too. 

1. Give Them Your Undivided Attention

When you take the time to schedule a date with your partner, you aren’t just setting aside time to go eat, or watch a movie, or whatever it is you choose to do. You are showing that person that you want to spend time with them. You are saying, “I have a list of things I need and want to do with my time, and spending it with you is at the top of that list,” which can help them feel seen and cherished in your relationship. Taking moments to sit and be together, away from distractions and other obligations, is key to remaining close and maintaining the friendship that made your relationship special in the first place. Choose to take your time and give it to them because they are worth it to you, that will help you be a better husband or a better wife to your spouse because they will be able to see how invested you are in cultivating that relationship. 

2. Improve Your Communication

In spending this time together, you don’t need to set up expectations and it should be about exactly that, spending time together. You don’t need to have an emotional heart to heart once a week, but you should make an effort to be present and actively spend time with your significant other on dates as well. Going on the date isn’t what makes your relationship better, but it’s at least a step in that direction. You can go to dinner at a nice restaurant on a regular basis, scheduling out a few hours to get the two of you out of the house and away from the stress of life. But, if you spend the entire time on your phone or finding some other way to be distracted, you’ll never connect and build your relationship that way. It doesn’t really matter what you talk about, could be how the kids are doing, what’s going on at work, or what rundown on the current football season is, as long as you are making that effort to actually connect. Use this as an opportunity to figure out how to talk to one another and be together without the distractions and responsibilities at home and you will have much better communication when you are in the thick of home life. 

3. Rekindle the Magic in Your Marriage

It might sound a little silly, but you didn’t get married just because. Before getting married and before kids, before your lives made their way to where they are now, you met someone that made you feel special. You felt a special connection to this person and you fell in love, and eventually, you made your way here. Over time, that magic can fade away and hide everything else in life like kids and work, it can be hard to get back once it’s gone. Without stoking the fire, the flame will die out. Marriage can be the same way if you’re not careful. There are plenty of ways to keep that feeling alive, and this is one of them. Take them out on dates and spend time together, before long it will feel just as exciting and rich as it did when you were falling in love with each other. Being together in a carefree element, without the kids and business emails and chores can help you to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. One of the best ways to keep a strong and healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime is to never lose sight of the love you share, and this is an easy way to do that. 

4. A Date is Better Than a Divorce

This may sound a little harsh, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Dating your spouse is significantly cheaper (and easier) and getting a divorce. It costs a lot less money and energy to invest in your relationship than it does to end it and get divorced. Now, I’m not saying you and your partner will 100% end up divorced if you don’t take my advice, but ignoring the needs of your relationship could lead you down that path. Communication, appreciation, relaxation, and cultivation are all essential to keeping a happy and healthy marriage in the long run. Dating can help you with these things and prevent the fire from dying out and seeing your relationship fall apart. It’s a small step that comes with a lot of benefit, so don’t be afraid to try it. 

Keeping you and your spouse happy can make your life a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable. If you want a long and happy relationship, you’ve got to be willing to put in the effort. Continuously dating your partner is a guaranteed and easy way to show how much you are willing to invest in your relationship even after all the time you’ve been together, which is exactly why I am choosing to do this with my wife. I love my wife and my family, why wouldn’t I want to make it as healthy as possible? Save time, money, and energy in your relationship by building respect for each other, boosting communication, stoking your fire, and overcoming hardship by putting your relationship and spouse first in your life, I promise it’s worth it. 

 

I would love to answer any questions you may have.

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