The Joy of Missing Out

This was a great book. I loved it because it reinforced some things I was doing but also called me out on some things that I should not be doing. This is one to review over and over because there are so many reminders. Actually, there’s almost too much to put into practice at once. My advice is to pick 1-2 things that you think you need the most work on, and focus on those first. After that you can move on to the next task or action item

Below I have given some of the main points and thoughts that stood out to me from the book. There are 3 times more than I underlined or took notes on. To me, this was some of the most important pieces.

Busy has become a badge in our society and many times we think that if we are not busy we are not getting things done.

“North Star” is her word of Major goal or Purpose.

In this book Tonya did a few things.

She explained…..

• What trap we are in.
• Why we are most of the time in that trap.
• Balance is not the goal (even though thats all you hear.. “Work life balance…”)
  • It’s a productivity buzzword: if life is perfectly balanced then we are not moving anywhere.
  • Magic does not happen when your life is centered and balanced. It happens when you lean into your priorities.
  • Balance is BOGUS. Balance doesn’t exists. And we don’t want it to exist. If all things are balanced, there can be no movement or growth. Everything must stand still. There is magic in the unbalanced because that is where we begin to move forward. We need counterbalance to make our lives work.

She taught…….

• How we got there.
• Why you need to get out.
• How we can get out.
• Set aside a block of time to answer email, text and return phone calls. If you are constantly doing that all day you are filling up your time and constantly have to get “refocused”.
• Time Blocking…This is not a new thought. It is just packaged better than most of the stuff you have heard in the past. Kind of like your mom telling you how to do something and you don’t get it, then a cousin or aunt walks in the room and it clicks. It’s all about the packaging of the thought.

Tips when someone asks you ….”How was your day?”
Rattle off the wins as opposed to the bad stuff.

Great thoughts and one liners.

• When we treat everything as equal it means nothing is Priority.
• To be genuinely productive we must master our focus.
• Don’t check email constantly like we are hunting a prize at the bottom of a cereal box when we know there is nothing really there.
• Productivity isn’t about being efficient – its about being effective. (Do what matters)
• Being efficient is about getting things done…being effective is getting whats important done.
• Focused time creates the greatest impact.
• Dopamine does not distinguish between important and unimportant; It just knows that crossing items off our lists feels good.
• Make your daily lists that point towards your goals. Not getting things done.
• The difference in successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say NO to almost everything.
• People who appear to be disciplined are really people who have harnessed the power of habits.
• Progress is kind of like watching our kids grow: we simply cannot see it until one day they are suddenly towering over us.
• Investing in others takes time, but always adds to our advantage.
• When we act upon our north star on a daily basis, accomplishments will follow.
• HUGE secret to success is making sure our day is achievable.
• Limit the time we are giving to unimportant items.
• Stop rushing through life and missing all the goodness that is there before us.
• Don’t look at your lives as individual days and beg to look at the bigger picture.
• Just because you have time doesn’t mean you should say yes.
• Always remember… “NO” is a complete sentence.

Ask yourself
Is there a gap between what i am currently doing and what i’m dreaming of doing?
Do you have boundaries?
Does work interfere with family or personal time and vice versa?
What are the obligations i am taking on that could be done by someone else?

Habits

• Building strong habits isn’t hard. It just takes some extra work on the front end.
• Routines are essentially habits following one after the other, each one actions a cue fo the next building momentum.
• Momentum is what we need.
• Small wins lead to big victories.
• Why do habits work? Habits require less effort, less energy and less thinking to maintain. Your brain stops wasting calories and channels all its energy to move your forward.
• Why are habits important? Your brain stops wasting calories and instead channels all its energy to move you forward.

SLOW DOWN

• You have to give yourself time to think and not DO.
• We have to have what she calls “whitespace”. We have to disconnect. If we disconnect, it ensures our systems are working properly.
• Whitespace is essential. It is essential to Higher productivity, creativity and concentration. Because our brains are constantly stimulated, giving ourselves space allows us to do our best work.
• Whitespace is where ideas, innovation, and ideals are born and nurtured.
  The noise of our daily lives begins to seem so natural. When we finally have some quiet it seems unsettling because we have gotten use to the steady HUM. Kind of like having that $11 box fan run in your room. You can’t sleep because you are so used to the HUM.

Purchase your copy here!